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Not the life I expected

Written by Viviana

As you can see in this screenshot – even a rich woman like Dorinda Medley (RHONY), does not have the life she expected when she hit mid-age. What about the rest of us mere mortals?

We all start out with expectations – to have money, to have at least one successful relationship, to have children, to own stuff – to have a lovely life but there are always bumps in the road.

My life has not panned out the way I imagined it to when I was 30. I don’t think it is worth going back further than that as until your Saturn returns, all bets are off.

For me, I got married at 26, to a nice enough guy, but at 26 we are not fully formed yet. After a few years, it became evident that he was not the guy for me – our work ethics didn’t match, mine was stronger. We had different ideas for the future. We did not talk enough about our future together and what we wanted. So that became my starter marriage.

After the big Italian wedding, I felt so ashamed about leaving my husband, I moved countries. Yes, there were other factors,  a difficult family which brought on low self-esteem, a career that didn’t seem to be going forward as fast as I would have liked, so I packed three duffle bags and left. I left everything I had: my two cats, my apartment I owned, my job and my friends, who were my support system. I basically jumped into the void.

Fast forward to me in mid-age, I have a wonderful partner of 11 years, a beautiful flat, two lovely black cats and several accomplishments under my belt. Of course, there are lots of things I don’t have or missed out on such as a fashionista’s wardrobe, a second home by the sea, a stunning high powered career (moving countries will set you back a few paces) or a child. I didn’t want to have a child with my first husband and then I didn’t find someone that I would want to have a baby with until it was too late. They say you can’t miss what you never had but…

I think we all need to remember and to note that we have done stuff, produced stuff and loved people. OK, maybe not always the right people but by this time in our lives we are loving ourselves.

I hope you will come by this site again – we are in a time in life where we need to acknowledge support each other as life keeps throwing us curve balls.

**Please note – mean girls are not on the list at Mame’s.

 

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Viviana

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